Did Jesus come under undue influence in Cana?

The gospel a couple of Sundays ago was about the miracle performed at the wedding feast of Cana. I have to admit that my mind wandered and consequently gatecrashed that famous wedding. I believe in miracles.The Ramones could have been singing that verse of their song about me, which goes, 'I used to be on an endless run: Believe in miracles because I'm one. I have been blessed with the power to survive: After all these years I'm still alive.'But back to the event which stole the bride's thunder in Cana: This was the first miracle performed by Jesus and personally speaking, I feel that he could have come up with something better for such a big gig.I wouldn't pray for a sick cow to get better because I regarded that as devaluing the humble plea I might need for a child sometime: now, in all honesty (I never hear or use that expression without thinking of Tommy Lyng!)… but in all honesty, do you not think that the trick in Cana was an awful waste of a good miracle shoot? I have my own theory, from my own experience as to how it came about - and I'll tell you further down.In Cana that day and especially among the riffraff not invited to the wedding, there were blind women and legless men. Personally speaking, I think the miracle man would have done better to put legs on a legless man, than to make a man with legs legless by bedtime? Or would it not have been a more astute political move to bring forward the miracle of the loaves and fishes for the B, or C-List not invited to the wedding - even if that one had to be repeated at a later date?I tell you though, I know exactly why it happened the way it did and Jesus is not to be held responsible.Nobody knows better than I that there is nothing worse than running out of booze on a session. I remember the desperation when this happened in bush camps in Canada and the only miracle we could hope for would be that someone knew where to locate a bootlegger. I'll tell you, that Canadian miracle didn't come cheap - which begs another question regarding the Cana carp.It would seem from some reports in the gossip columns of the time that the main concern was to avoid embarrassing the bride and groom by running out of booze. Good Jesus, but isn't it stretching it a bit to justify a full-blown miracle to save the pride of an obviously rich and spoiled couple? I'll give you the real reason if you stay with us.There is also a disturbing aspect here, where it reports on the reopening of the bar after the staff had called time. Wedding guests, many of them with enough drink in them already (after drinking the place dry) would now acquire an unmerciful thirst with their second wind due to the trauma of having run dry and now coupled with the excitement of the second coming.Quite frankly, I would question the infinite wisdom of Jesus on this one if I hadn't come to understand how the whole thing was out of his hands. It came to me, listening to the gospel and seated beside my mother in the church.What about those who had to drive home when the feast finally ground to a halt? And there was no Danny Healy-Rae to plead on behalf of Canian drink-drivers. No matter what make of transport they drove, camel, ox or ass, no road is safe for a drunken driver.And there wouldn't be much point in telling the cop who pulled you over that you could have sworn you finished up drinking water.Didn't an old man say to Mary, 30 years earlier, when she was carrying the baby in the temple: 'This child will be the cause of the fall and rise of many in Israel.'Well, now you have it: that night there were guys falling and rising again all over the place. Back to the ceist as to why Jesus wasted a perfectly good miracle on an already half-drunken party of revellers… we have acknowledged that one of the saddest sights on the planet is to see lads walking around looking into an empty glass and their tongues out gasping for one more - but is this grounds for a miracle, I ask you?I tell you now; there was only the one reason this miracle occurred that day in Cana: it was the mammy that did it! Every one of you, dear readers, will be nodding your heads in agreement now that you think of it. The hint-hint… the silence… the guilt - and then you do it!'They have no wine…' Mary announced to the son - just like that. Not another word… then silence - and you know that look!He didn't want to do it: 'Woman (not Mumsy or Mom - so definitely showing a hint of irritation or annoyance here)… what is that to me or to you? My hour is not yet come.'Typical mammy, what does she do but turn to the waiters (who must be livid - having thought their shift was done) and tells them, 'do whatever he says'. What could the man do - and everyone now looking at him? Thirty years of age and she still telling him what to do…There were six stone jars and Jesus told the waiters to fill them with water. He then produced a Heineken tankard and gave a sample of the brew to the head steward, who wiping his mouth with the back of his hand exclaimed: 'Oh holy Jesus, I have never tasted anything so good: talk about keeping the good wine till last!'Meanwhile the mother was probably over in a corner, bragging to all the neighbours about the great son she reared…Don't ForgetThere's only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.