Garda meets couple whose loss inspired charity effort

The heartbroken parents of a baby girl who lost their baby 15 weeks into pregnancy have come forward to thank a local garda who cycled 99km through nine villages in full uniform in honour of their daughter.

Nickita and Anthony Farrelly’s daughter Molly was born on April 18 when Nickita was just 15 weeks pregnant and tragically passed away, leaving the couple devastated.

They were shocked to discover that Garda Edel Dugdale had been inspired to organise an event to raise money for a charity that offers support to families affected by the death of a baby, after she had stopped the family at a checkpoint during lockdown as they carried their little girl’s coffin to her resting place.

Touched by the encounter, Gda Dugdale came up with the idea for ‘Trim’s Emergency Services 999 Challenge’ which involved frontline workers cycling 99km run through rural communities in the area.

Delvin connection

Gda Dugdale, who is from Delvin and is attached to the community policing unit at Trim Garda Station, did not know the identity of the family and it was only after Nickita (34) and Anthony (36), had read the story in the Meath Chronicle that they contacted Edel to explain that they were the family she had met.

Personnel from Trim Garda Station and Trim Fire Station took part in the event and have raised more than €15,000 for Féileacáin, the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Association of Ireland.

Nickita said: “Molly was my second baby, and we had our 12-week scan and were told everything was perfect.

“Like everyone else then, you presume you are in the safe zone and everything is okay.

“A couple of weeks later – it was Good Friday – and we were all at home and I started to get pains. I said to Anthony that I didn’t think that it was right, so I rang the hospital and they said to keep an eye on them [the pains] and if they get worse, to come in.

“I went to bed about 11pm and woke Anthony up at 12 o’clock and I knew something was very wrong.

“We arrived into the Coombe at 1.30am, they scanned me at 2am and the baby still had a heartbeat.

“They said that it was obvious that I was in early labour and if the labour progressed, she wouldn’t survive, and they told me what to expect.

“It was horrific, because Anthony wasn’t allowed in with me for any of it. I had to give birth to her alone.

“We were only allowed 10 people at the funeral, so just immediate family, we had no Mass.

“It was just my house to the graveyard – the priest said a few prayers at the grave,and we went back to the house.

“It was like nothing had happened, it was horrible.

“Some days I think I’m okay and some days I just find myself crying saying ‘why me, why us, why her?’.

“I just have to learn to live with this for the rest of my life, to live without her.

“She is classed as a second trimester miscarriage so even the word miscarriage – when they were saying that to me in the hospital, I was thinking I didn’t have a miscarriage, I had a baby.

“Technically you can’t call her a still-born because in Ireland you have to be over 24 weeks to be considered a still-born.

“We can’t even get a birth cert for her. She was here, she did exist, she was only here for two days but she was still our baby.”

The grieving Trim woman, also mother to two-year-old Adam, says she and husband Anthony were “so grateful” for Gda Dugdale’s kind gesture.

“We just couldn’t believe it. Edel was a total stranger to us, she didn’t know us and was going out of her way to organise all of this.

“It is still unbelievable that someone you didn’t know would want to do that for you and your baby. It is just so lovely.

“When you lose a baby, a lot of people don’t know what to say or are afraid of upsetting you, so they ignore you, which is horrible.

“The fact that this girl who never knew us did this for us is unbelievable.”

In a heart-warming turn of events, Anthony cycled part of the route in solidarity with the participants from the garda and fire stations in Trim, and both he and Nickita thanked Edel for “not forgetting their daughter”.

Speaking about the event, Edel said: “It was brilliant, from 6am, when we started in Enfield, there were families out with Féileacáin teddy bears and bereaved families who have used the service.”

https://www.idonate.ie/fundraiser/11388642_edel-dugdale-s-page.html