‘We have been left in limbo’

When Mullingar native Rory Molloy and his American fiancée Sarah Levesque said goodbye at the international departure gates at JFK in early January 2020, little did they think it would be the last time they would see each other for more than 400 days, and counting.

Rory had proposed to Sarah a few weeks previously, on Christmas morning, and the couple, who are now both 24, had spent the rest of his three-week visit to her home in Connecticut planning the next chapter of their relationship, which began when they met online playing computer games at the age of 14.

After bonding over the shared interests, Rory and Sarah quickly became friends and spoke to each other online daily. The more they talked, the deeper their feelings for each became, Sarah told the Westmeath Examiner during an online video chat.

“We were Facetiming every day for hours on end. First it was Facebook then it was Facetime, then his parents started to talk to my parents on Facetime. I was 16 at this stage and my parents weren’t going to let a 16-year-old girl to Ireland by herself so Rory [then 17] flew here for the first time and that’s basically what we have been doing every since. He’ll come here for three weeks and then I will go there three weeks.

Over the last seven years, the couple have racked up thousands of air miles visiting each other. Rory is a particularly seasoned transatlantic traveller at this stage, having made the journey around dozen times, including one trip for Sarah’s senior prom, one of the most significant rites of passage for many young American women.

Firmly ensconced in each other’s families, Sarah travelled to Cancun in Mexico for Rory’s cousin’s wedding a few years ago. She has also been to the Canary islands on holiday with Rory’s parents, Ned and Deirdre. The couple have also travelled extensively together in America.

The couple’s long-term plan, which they were hoping to set in motion after their engagement, is for computer engineer Rory to move to America to be with Sarah, who as a high school Spanish teacher might find it difficult to get work in her field in Ireland.

After years of navigating the highs and lows of a long-distance relationship, the couple thought that in the not too distant future they would be soon be moving in to their first home together.

However, due to the worse public health crisis to hit the globe in a century, a crisis which had led to the deaths of 500,000 people in America alone, the couple have seen their plans go up in smoke, at least temporarily.

To make a bad situation even worse, because they are not married, they are unable to travel to see each other due to Covid-19 travel restrictions, which have been in place for almost a year now.

Rory says that although he understands that there has to be travel restrictions between countries due to threat posed by the coronavirus, a number of EU countries, including France, Germany and The Netherlands, reopened their borders six months ago for non-EU nationals travelling to meet their life partners.

After the excitement of getting engaged a little over 14 months ago, the couple have endured the most challenging period of their time together. Used to being apart for extended periods, it is the not knowing when they will see each other again that is particularly difficult.

“It has been really tough,” Rory says.

Speaking to the Westmeath Examiner on a video call in between classes, Sarah says she was able to be philosophical about their situation for much of the last year, but as the months have worn on it has become increasingly hard.

“Christmas hit and then Valentine’s Day. It was really hard. I didn’t want to go on social media and see all these couples together. It is definitely a lot tougher now.

“The Christmas before last, we were hoping that Rory would be over here permanently relatively soon, and we wouldn’t have to worry about being apart any more.”

Co-incidentally, a young woman from Sarah’s home town, Naugatuck, who is also engaged to an Irishman, spoke to their local media about their predicament.

“I have been in touch with her. She feels all my frustrations and I feel all hers. It’s a small world,” she says.

Eager to see each other again as soon as possible, Rory and Sarah have been in contact with an online group, Love is Not Tourism, which was established last year to lobby governments to include long-term partners in the list of people who can travel internationally.

The couple have contacted numerous politicians on both sides of the Atlantic, including Taoiseach Micheál Martin, started a petition to highlight their issue, and also recently enlisted the help of a specialist lawyer to help Rory secure a K-1 Fiancé Visa.

While Rory should have no problems obtaining the visa, they have been advised that it could take up to a year to process.

Rory’s mother Deirdre is the proprietor of one of the longest established preschools in Mullingar, First Class Montessori. She says that while she supports restrictions for non-essential travel, for couples such as Rory and Sarah, who have documentary proof of their long-term status of relationship, exemptions should be made.

“Rory and Sarah have been in a committed relationship for years. She is a valued part of our family and we hate seeing the two of them being separated for so long. Many other European countries have included long-term partners on their lists of people who can travel, and the Irish government should do the same thing.”

Until then, or until Rory’s visa is processed, whenever that may be, the couple will have to make do with their daily Facetime chats.

Sarah says that the list of essential travellers need to be urgently reviewed.

“There are people who are coming over here that are deemed essential and they are coming over here for sport. Then you have people like us who are in serious relations, are engaged, and we can’t even see each other.”

Unsure of when he will see the woman he wants to spend his life with again, Rory says that it can be hard to remain positive, sometimes.

“We have been left in limbo the same as every other couple in our situation. We have all been left hanging.”