‘Most churches can easily hold 50, safely distanced’

COUNTING the cost of Covid

One of the more cruel aspects of the Covid-19 pandemic is that it has deprived families of being able to give their loved ones the send-offs they deserved.

From having to make the difficult decision about which family members will allowed to attend the funeral Mass, to the traditional Irish wake being off limits, many of the customs that carried people through the early days of bereavement have fallen victim to some of the most rigid Covid-19 restrictions in the world.

Funeral directors such as Padraig Nannery of Kilbeggan have seen first hand the impact that Covid-19 restrictions have had on families who have lost loved ones during the pandemic – he says that his heart goes out to those families.

While restrictions have had a profound effect for every newly bereaved family, the changes are even more stark for those whose loved one died from a Covid-related illness.

“If you pass away from Covid in hospital, that’s the last your family will see of you. We aren’t even allowed into the hospital any more – they just hand the body out to us and the people are buried straight away. It is not nice on families.

“Even with ordinary funerals and the current restrictions, it is not fair on families. There is plenty of place for more people in churches, even with social distancing.

“A very good friend of mine passed away a month ago. He had a large extended family and even his grandkids and sister were outside the church. It is very disheartening for families. At the start, there were a few priests who were a little easier going with the numbers and there were 20 to 25 into the bigger churches for funerals but they got slammed for that so it is strictly 10 now.”

While acknowledging the continued need for social distancing, Mr Nannery says that given the size of most parish churches the current figure of ten mourners should be the subject of an upward review.

“I don’t know any church in Ireland or in this county that easily couldn’t hold 50 well socially distanced,” he said.

One unique custom associated with an Irish funeral is the wake, where friends and neighbours congregate at the home of the deceased person to pay their respects and offer comfort and consolation to those left behind. For many family members who have lost loved ones during the pandemic, the inability to be able to give them a proper wake has been exceptionally hard.

“The biggest thing about the wake is that you’d go into the house and the first thing was the handshake and the hug. It’s totally cut out, and RIP.ie has taken over for that side of thing for condolences. For the older people who aren’t into computers, it’s harder. I know they stand on the side of the road, but when a funeral is going by families don’t see who is standing on the side of the road, but they know people are there.

“They say that condolences in the church and the handshake will be out for a long time. We will have to keep going the way we are,” Mr Nannery says.

Whether the government will heed the calls from church leaders and some politicians to increase the attendances allowed at funerals remains to be seen and their decision will be dictated by the number of new cases each day. When it comes to mourning the dead, the return to some sort of normality can’t come quick enough, Mr Nannery says.

“Hopefully in the near future it will ease and restrictions for funerals will be eased.

“Even a few extra people in the church would be lovely for families.”