‘You can take my word for it’

Published: Sat 13 Jan 2024, 11:15 AM

Heads up, dear readers. This week I have two new words for you. If either of them are not new to you, it is because I spend a lot of time playing catch-up; but anyway, my limited vocabulary has been expanded over the holiday season. My two new words were spawned in America… where else? I hear you holler.

I like playing with words, both in conversation and in my writings. In doing this column, I never use a word that I am not comfortable using in my day to day conversations. It would be easy for me to harvest a few lexicologisty gems in the mistaken belief it might impress you, or prompt a raise from my editor, but naw, the odd bit of approval from the Lads is all I crave!

Before proceeding to the two words in question, it is only right and proper to post a warning. Something like what you might see on your TV screen before a programme containing explicit violence… or the other thing! Our second word deals with ‘the other thing’. The warning goes something like this: ‘The contents of this column may not be suitable for readers who suffer from ‘deeply offended’ syndrome, or for those born with a sensitive nature.’

Those hardy masochists who are still with us, please continue to hold the line, as we gently ease you into our main story.

First of all, words are constantly changing over time. Some new words (like these two) evolve, while others totally disappear from the language. ‘Semantic change’ they call it. Words can change their meaning over time. The word ‘gay’ meant something else when I was gay in my youthful happy state. The definition and meaning of words change and there are no set rules or guidelines – just the whim of society. The words ‘nice’ and ‘bully’ once meant the total opposite to what they are today. Sometimes a word like ‘Gubu’, can be cleverly invented as was this one, by Conor Cruise O’Brien, I think. Other times a new word happens by accident, or taken from a misplaced word of a famous person.

It’s coming… it’s coming! The first new word I came across is a ‘Karen’. Now, Karen is a lovely name for a girl and I know a few lovely Karens in Ireland. But this is all about an American ‘Karen’. A ‘Karen’ is the name applied to those ‘entitled’ ladies who believe that the rules of society don’t apply to them. Karen stands out in a crowd because she is so demanding of staff and authorities and the most likely person who ‘needs to see the manager’. Rules don’t apply to Karen!

Do we have such Karens in Ireland? Maybe, but it is not just a female thing, so let’s call him ‘Stanley’. Stanley will always be promoting himself for preferential treatment and has a good strong neck. Take a long queue going into a concert: the bould Stanley will walk along the line until he spots a familiar face; ideally, another Stanley. Some ‘hail fellow well met’ and soon Stanley is in without having to queue like an ordinary man. A funeral in the cathedral and a long line of sympathisers stretching out the back door. Stanley will nip in, sneak his way up the other side of the pews, sit on a seat for a few minutes, before entering the line near the front. Stanley ‘knows somebody’ everywhere whom he can rely on to cut out the boring bits of ordinary folk and cut straight to the chase. Stanley is the only guy in the pub who can click his fingers at the barman and make it work.

And so we come to our second new word. This one is guaranteed to jolt you out of your slumbering glance through YCBS. It is a fascinating word… a nice clean, sanitised word in a department where such words have been in scarce supply for hundreds of years. I know you will all be dropping this word here and there from now on. It perfectly describes a certain act taking place between two consenting adults – neither of whom should be ‘consenting’ by rights! The Gorls in the office call it ‘having an affair’, the Goys refer to it as ‘playing away’ or ‘horizontal jogging’, and the Lads call it ‘shagging the neighbour’s wife’. Again, you may need to write this one down. The Americans are now labelling all such activities as ‘REPARTNERING’!

There is nothing further we can add to that, so I’ll say no more: In the immortal words of the late, great Bill O’Herlihy; ‘We’ll leave it there so!’