‘Rapists don’t discriminate, and neither do we’

Regan Kelly

“Rapists don’t care what religion you are, who you vote for, or where you were born. They don’t discriminate, and neither do we.”

Those are the words of Mullingar woman and rape survivor, Hazel Behan, co-founder of a new support and advocacy organisation for victims of sexual and gender-based violence.

‘Éist – Saying No To Silence’ aim to provide a space for victims to come and be heard.

Hazel founded the group with Sandra Daly, a survivor and Legal Advocate, and Bairbre Kelly, a counsellor and psychotherapist.

Speaking to the Westmeath Examiner on Friday, Hazel said: “The three of us sat down together and through our own personal and professional experiences, we tried to figure out what could work best.

“Bairbre is a trained counsellor and psychotherapist and has had many years under her belt, providing workshops and training courses to people in the realm of mental health and wellbeing.

“Sandra is a legal representative, so she can give a huge insight into that aspect of it, along with being a survivor of rape herself.

“So we have lots of tools to be able to help people, and hopefully make their journey, after what has happened to them, a little bit easier.”

The main aim is to provide immediate crisis support for victims of rape and gender based violence.

They believe they can fill a gap as a service, as there seems to be a “grey area” between an assault and gaining support for victims.

Hazel said: “When the unthinkable happens to somebody, they are thrown into this world that they never thought they would be part of.

“This is completely new for them. They don’t know how the legal system works, the process in the hospital and the aftercare that they need.”

Inclusion is important for the organisation, and Éist hope to provide a safe space for all members of society, including the minority and LGBTQ+ communities.

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Hazel said: “Anybody is welcome to access our services, and we want that sense of inclusion to ripple through the community.

“Rapists don’t care what religion you are, who you vote for, or where you were born. They don’t discriminate, and neither do we.”

Hazel provided an insight into her own experience, detailing how this may help her guide future victims. “I can tell you, when this happens to someone, everything that you are is stripped from you, the fear of the unknown is terrifying, and when your defences are down, it’s just so scary, I know I would have loved something like this.

“From my own experience over the years, I wonder what would happen if I had said that or what would happen if I had done this; there are so many questions that not many people could answer.

“So hopefully, other women will be able to answer these questions from our own personal and professional experiences.”

Éist will provide a multitude of support to victims, including legal information, crisis therapy, wellbeing support, and information on services they may need.

Among their services, which Hazel says are important, are their efforts to foster community engagement and outreach.

The group aim to be heavily involved in the community as a visible support network that victims can immediately access in times of need. “We all have our community, we all have our tribe, and what is important to us is listening to the community and finding out what is needed.

“We are going to remain at a community and grassroots level as much as possible, and our model is focused on a nip things in the bud kind of approach.”

Hazel went on to describe some of the efforts they will carry out in the community. “We will go to local businesses, organisations and schools to give them training on consent and equality.

“We have an Éist education programme for fourth years and up, to try to hit it at the bottom, before it even starts, so that people will know how to react if something comes in their direction.”

It can often be hard to have difficult conversations at a community level, especially when it comes to the subject of gender based violence and rape.

This is something Hazel and Éist are aiming to change by tackling the issues head-on. “We need to have these difficult conversations in a safe environment, whether that be in schools or the workplace.

“We can do it through challenging each other’s biases, getting things out in the open and hearing other people’s perspectives.

“Of course, we understand that not everyone wants to have these difficult talks, but without the conversations, things don’t change.”

Éist draw support from many other community organisations around Westmeath, including the Lough Owel diving groups Dips Don’t Lie and Blueballs Midlands, who hosting a coffee morning and dip in aid of Éist on August 24 at 11am.

For those seeking more information on Éist, you can do so by visiting their website at notosilence.ie.