‘Getting rid of the Belly…’
I am sporting (if that be the correct word) a ‘bit of a belly’ these days. In fact, it is a bit more than a bit. As you meet and greet me on the street (that could be a song title?), you may notice the shirt outside the trousers. The reason I am baring this blemish here and now is lest any of the Lads… or God forbid, one of the Gorls… think I am cutting at them when I write about ‘getting rid of the belly’.
The Lads often speak of ‘trying to get rid of this belly’, and the Gorls may politely refer to ‘tummy toning’ or some such words. For our unaffected readers, they are one and the same thing. Hold on… one more thing for you unaffected before you leave us. I can do no better than give you Frankie Byrnes’s advice from the Radio Éireann Jacob’s programme of the long ago; ‘This may not be your problem today, but it could be some day!’
For the rest of us sporting that ‘bit of a belly’, I have two pieces of consolation – if not outright good news.
The first soothing certainty is that today’s obsession with thinness is a relatively recent phenomenon. Historically, society perceived plumpness and even a layer of-you-know-what. (I am afraid to use the three letter word due to the abuse I got for writing a YCBS on it one time. The first letter is ‘F’ and it rhymes with cat.) If you look at old photos and paintings, you will notice plumpness exposed in all its beauty. It was of course also the trademark of the upper classes and the well to do.
The second consolation of the bulging belly is an important one to remember. We shall, however, leave that one until the end in the hope you may stay with us through the middle bit…
Middle age spread is a fact of life for most of us. I know, Lads; I reached middle age a long time ago… but like a lot of other things, it came to me late in life. Anyway, we are all in this thing together and may I suggest we stop fighting the big belly. As the man said; if something or other is inevitable, just lie back and enjoy it.
I would prefer not to be using America as an example of anything, but they too are human beings with big bellies. The average young US adult gains 30 pounds by the time they are 50. The weight gain happens despite the fact that the people in question tend to eat less during that period.
We are not discussing obesity here… a somewhat different animal. This spotlight is on your average man and woman in the street who are trying to beat the battle of the bulge. One of the reasons for our ‘condition’ is we lose muscle mass as we age. Muscles are the great calorie-burning machine. A more sedentary lifestyle naturally reduces the burning of those same calories.
It is stating the obvious to announce here that more exercise and less food is the answer. Of course that combination will help, but that tummy-tyre and value-added arse become increasingly difficult to shrink. I suggest we just accept it, instead of being miserable fighting a battle we cannot win.
Now, here is the second line of good news…
It is not your fault about the bit of a belly and it could be nature’s way of protecting you. Animals build up a fatty (we’ll chance it!) layer to see them through tough times ahead. The polar bear, for example, gets fat when food is plentiful and then lives off that fat during the summer when the ice melts and there is little to eat. Maybe nature is applying the same formula to humans – not because of lack of food, but possible illness?
Past middle age, the risk of becoming ill multiplies. If you are ill, you won’t eat, so that is where the bit of a belly comes to the rescue.
Don’t forget the exercise… it works. Proof of that is the fact that since I had to cease farming 18 months ago, I can see it on the scales. I enjoy walking and I’m in good shape… but I have a message here. We have to stop beating ourselves up over the belly. I love my walking, but I also love my food. There are several spare holes left in my belt and I know that a new, bigger shirt would look great on me. I have given up enough and I have given up all that I’m going to give up!
Don’t Forget
Somebody has set up a fake email address using my name, and it appears there is nothing we can do about it. It has been used to endorse dodgy products, to promote opinions, comments and photos far removed from my way of thinking – and God knows what else that I don’t know about.
My friends don’t open those emails and should you receive anything dodgy that doesn’t have the email address at the top of this page, please don’t open it either.
Go raibh mait agat.