Of Mice and Women

Mary Egan Campbell

Beryl arched her back, in a luxurious stretch curving her back high, then lengthening her legs out, she curled her head back as far as it would go, soaking up the evening sun on her face. She was tired now and ready for a nap. All day she had spent inspecting houses on this street. A mixed bag of newly built grandeur on one side and upgraded or renovated old cottages on the other. She wasn’t sure which she liked best.

Mrs Spain at the top of the boreen had added a lovely new sunroom extension and pergola at the back of hers, placed soft seated sun loungers and faux wicker sofas covered over to protect against the weather, and a see-through Perspex roof. Perfect spot to take shelter in winter or summer.

Then there was double garage George further down with his fancy cars and lofty windowed monstrosity. The garage doors were permanently open to display his shiny wheels for neighbours to ogle. No dogs anywhere in sight. The place was pristine. No food waste bins parked on the path there. Certainly not. That would definitely ruin the aesthetic.

There were cats and dogs crawling all over batty Lydia’s nice new dormer at the T-junction down the end, and a constant supply of fresh road kill at the kerb to welcome visitors inside. Poor location for a petting zoo vibe of a house, but then she isn’t exactly the full shilling.

The prettily painted house is surrounded by torn teddies and litter boxes, varying sizes of cages and kennels and a general sense of disarray. With her bottle-thick glasses, she is surely half blind and likely to trip over her menagerie with every step.

She might as well put up a sign ‘Do No Enter’ or ‘Enter At Your Peril’.

‘No room at the inn’ certainly crossed Beryl’s mind. Besides, the mess of guts and hair at the kerb was enough for her to move swiftly along.

Her favourite was the side by side, stepped down cottages now joined and converted into one long-fronted vision of homeliness, including cute painted shutters and window boxes, peony roses and honeysuckle enveloping the front wall of the postage stamp sized lawn and gorgeous wisteria creeping around the windows and doors like some fairy-tale cabin. Excellent for climbing, if one were so inclined.

But the best part was the back yard with its sprawling patio, fish pond with a magnificent spraying fountain at the end, and a spectacular rocky waterfall stepping down into paradise.

But not just that. A great big turf shed sat out back with an open sided lean-to housing a clothes line underneath and a composter to the rear. Potted shrubs and flowers dotted around everywhere you looked. Very homely and welcoming. Lots of prospects there.

Beryl usually had to do some groundwork to ingratiate herself. Plant a little seed of doubt here and there. A strategically placed threat on the mat. Oh she could tell you many a tall tale of mice and women, but she was tired after her day’s scouting.

The turf shed would do nicely for tonight and besides that compost bin would draw all manner of vermin round for a snoop, so dinner was looking promising. She stretched against the warm glass of the kitchen window and curled in a ball, contented with her find. Home at last.

Mary Egan Campbell is a member of Inklings Writing Group, who meet on Tuesdays at 11am and Wednesdays at 7.30pm in the Annebrook House Hotel, Mullingar. Lovers of writing welcome.