Limit your child's screen time says TV psychologist Coleman

The best way for parents to ensure their children don’t spend all day on their smartphones or tablets is leading by example, according to leading clinical psychologist, author and broadcaster David Coleman.

Speaking to the Westmeath Examiner, Coleman, who recently gave a talk on internet safety at an event in Kinnegad (sponsored by Cairdeas Community Childcare in conjunction with St Etchen’s NS and The Downs NS), said that while many parents are aware of the “headline issues” such as children being targeted on social media by paedophiles, the range of dangers associated with internet usage is “quite broad”.

“Many parents underestimate the influence of their children’s time with technology,” he said.

“They probably aren’t aware of the extent of the dangers.

“When I give a talk, I go through the key dangers and most parents at some point look up with open eyes. I usually take that as an indicator that they are getting new information.”

Cyber bullying is a “huge and common problem”, which surprises many parents, Coleman says.

It is also important to talk to your child about the amount of information they provide online, as that can be used by cyber criminals.

The best way of reducing your child’s exposure to online dangers is by reducing screen time, he says.

Children under the age of three should not have any screen, which may come as a surprise to many parents; while children in the early years of primary school should be limited to half an hour screen time – this includes TV and other digital devices.

As children get older this can be gradually increased, but the upper limit should be one hour a day.

It’s important that children are encouraged to get outside and go “running and jumping” like previous generations, Coleman says. “One of the big issues that came up in

Kinnegad was the game Fortnite Battle Royale. It’s become a huge craze for 10-, 11- and 12-year-olds.

“It’s a free online game where you are one of up to 100 players and the idea is to kill everyone else.

“It’s hugely addictive and games last around 15 to 25 minutes. The desire to start a new game is really strong and it can end up soaking up hours of time.”

Many parents are concerned about the amount of time their children spend on devices but are reluctant to confront them as they don’t want to create conflict.

Coleman says that when it comes to the welfare of your child, it is important that parents do not shy away from making decisions that may be unpopular.

“It the job of parents to make decisions that are in their child’s best interest. Parents have to be stand up.

“If you bring a book or a colouring book and pencils to a restaurant, it requires effort to stay engaged with your child while you wait for your food to be served.

“It’s a way better choice than giving them your phone to keep them occupied.

“It also about being able to say no to a child when you are making a decision that is a good choice for them.

“I think some of this [parents’ reluctance to say no] comes from parental guilt. Most parents are working long hours and feel guilt about leaving their child in childcare.

“They don’t want to get into conflict with them during the time they spend together so they are more likely to agree than say no... They don’t seem to be willing to disappoint their children, but life can be disappointing.”

If you want to reduce your child’s internet usage, you have to lead by example, Coleman says.

This means reducing the amount of time you spend on your own smartphone or tablet.

“Children copy what we do more than what we say. They follow behaviour much more than instruction.

“You have lead by example. It’s critically important,” Coleman says.
 

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