Kenny’s target is to make the final 24 in ‘24
“I think our three best players at the moment are Caoimhin Kelleher, Darren Randolph and Gavin Bazunu!”
A string of top saves from the latter was keeping the Republic of Ireland in contention (for the game against Serbia, if not for World Cup qualification) when this typically witty text came through on my phone in the Aviva Stadium this night week from a regular match attendee who was unavailable to travel on the night.
It immediately reminded me of what must have been a hilarious moment in the team meeting room in Saipan a little over 19 years ago after soon-to-depart skipper Roy Keane had finished his rant at manager Mick McCarthy (yes, he messed things up badly also), and reserve ‘keeper Dean Kiely tried to break the ice by asking the beleaguered manager: “Boss, can I have a go at playing in the centre of midfield?”
Ironically, when googling Kiely to get a handle on his ‘Oirishness’, it appears there is a driving instructor of the same name (genuinely). His sales blurb reads: ‘Very patient, helpful, professional, with a sense of humour.’ Clearly, ex-goalkeeper Kiely has a great sense of humour also, and I just hope he managed to cheer up McCarthy with his improvised quip when the tension in a room of professionals (just like driving instructors!) must have been nigh on unbearable.
For all the ‘rightness’ and ‘wrongness’ of Keane’s fall-out being a subject of debate to this day, there is zero debate about the brilliance of the Mayfield man when he was on the pitch. You suspect that even in his semi-pomp he would have been able to singlehandedly transform the current group of Irish players into a competitive team. As would any of Johnny Giles, Liam Brady, Ronnie Whelan, Andy Townsend, and even manufactured midfielders like Paul McGrath and Mark Lawrenson, all of whom yours truly has been privileged to watch over the years compete favourably with the best in the world.
As stated, the jury is still out on the shambolic events in Saipan prior to the 2002 World Cup, but there is no debating about the lack of quality in key areas of the current motley crew. With the goalkeeping situation in very good hands (pun intended) as per my friend’s text – and Bazunu, in particular, looks likely to pick up a garage full of glass from ‘man of the match’ performances, home (worryingly) and away – as well as a reasonable smattering of very promising defenders, it is further forward where Ireland’s problems blatantly lie. The midfielders listed above show what talent there was in green jerseys over the recent past, four of them out-and-out Dubs, without any need to make use of the ‘Granny Rule’.
The capping of Patrick Bamford for England by Gareth Southgate last week ends any lingering hope that we may have acquired the services of a proven striker. Bamford has been man enough all along to declare that playing for his native country was his target, and good luck to him. Indeed, there was an irony in the tale in that his debut came against Andorra, the only country that Stephen Kenny’s Ireland has been able to defeat during his time in charge.
The shenanigans of Jack Grealish and Declan Rice were a far cry from Bamford’s decency in the latest round of ‘will he?/won’t he?’ declare for ‘Oireland’ sagas. The Rice fiasco ended during the second coming of McCarthy as Irish bainisteoir, his ‘transfer’ surely making a mockery of his three full caps for this country, and a recent McCarthy interview made it clear that the latter told Rice in no uncertain terms what he thought of his ‘treachery’.
McCarthy himself is English-born, but was never going to be handed a ‘three lions’ shirt. However, Lawrenson and Townsend were certainly good enough to play for England, with the former likely to have accumulated many caps given his versatility, had player/manager Giles not pounced for his services after a tip-off from Preston and Ireland legend, Alan Kelly Snr. While, in an ideal world, we’d all like the Irish dressing room to be devoid of Cockney, Liverpudlian or Glaswegian accents, the reality is that the glory days under Big Jack, and all our big tournament appearances since, wouldn’t have happened without ‘Granny Rule’ help.
There was a tremendous atmosphere in and around Lansdowne Rd last Tuesday night. Half the ‘normal’ crowd seemed to make the noise I can recall from countless full houses there. A large part of this was surely down to the novelty of fans getting to support the team post-Covid, as the continuation of poor results will inevitably lead to unrest among supporters. A 1-1 draw achieved via a bizarre own goal late in the game will not suffice down the line when full ‘normality’ returns.
It is surely not being unreasonable to expect wins in Luxembourg and Azerbaijan, despite the startling statistic of only picking up one point from a possible six (and that with a late Shane Duffy header) in our home games against the minnows? As for Portugal on October 12, well it’s hard not to envisage Manchester United’s latest signing showing off his chiselled torso after extending his international goals record.
The ‘In Kenny We Trust’ banners will be few and far between if our remaining dead rubbers (for all bar Portugal) don’t mean an accumulation of a minimum of six points. The sensible option for the FAI (and let’s hope that sense is now in evidence in Abbotstown since You-know-who departed) would seem to be to give Kenny another campaign. Making the top 24 in Europe is a realistic target. Oh, to travel to Germany again in 2024 and relive the magical eight days we spent there in 1988!
For now, with Kiely in situ as goalkeeping coach under Kenny, could the Dubliner try out the Salford native in central midfield? He’s only 50 (the net-minder, that is – Google does not list the driving instructor’s age).