‘It’s my siesta – and I’ll snore if I want to!’

I was just saying to the Lads the other night how lucky they are to live in an age when YCBS is available to them – and most importantly, at no extra cost.

Published: Sat 7 Oct 2023, 1:15 PM

I went on to remind them of all the useful tips they found here to improve the quality of their… what would otherwise be… miserable lives. Unfortunately, a few of the Lads seemed to be ‘short-taken’ and had to go to the loo in a hurry. Obviously, they had all eaten together and something clearly hadn’t agreed with them, because soon the others had to run too. Whether it was their stomachs, or whatever, it must have been pretty bad, because none of them chanced coming back.

The Gorls had been chatting to each other until then. Then, out of politeness, they turned to me to hear what I was saying. I changed track a little, to emphasise how much this column had done for the sake of sisterhood over the years. One of them broke and headed briskly towards the Mná sign.

Well, you know women; just like a sheep jumping a wall, when one breaks they’re all gone – and so it was with my audience; now all crowded into the toilet. They failed to return as well.

Maybe they got bad news or something – because they left all their drinks and coffees after them. I now know how my granddaughter, Ciara, felt after being bitten by a big tom cat.

Through her tears she kept repeating; “I was only trying to give him love!” Anyway, all I had been trying to do was promote how much better off they would be if they got around to having a daily siesta!

With global warming upon us, we need to adopt the more leisurely mode of living that comes with a hot climate. In Spain, for example, I couldn’t believe it when I first saw the building workers falling asleep in the middle of the day. A big bread roll, along with a large bottle of ale would be consumed first. Then the grupo de hombres found the shadiest spot, parked the cap on the eyebrows and entered a deep sleep for an hour or more.

I have developed the siesta style and I love it. Mind you, I would only do 15 minutes or so – but I love it. I can do it almost at will. I feel the urge coming on; I rest my head in my hands, elbows on knees and it is just like flicking a switch.

I can do it – not only in my own home, but in waiting rooms, airports, buses and planes. It does me a world of good. (Ah, ye’r back, Lads!)

Those who (as my late Uncle Paddy would say) ‘must know something’ are coming around to seeing the benefits of a little midday siesta and backing me up that it does wonders for your health. They like my way of doing it; 10 to 20 minutes; and not the longer Spanish version. Any longer makes it harder to snap out of and can leave things worse through grogginess for a time.

A study showed that participants who napped regularly for 10-20 minutes improved their performance on cognitive tests of memory. The 10-minute nappers experienced an immediate boost in performance.

It gets even better. A study published in the Journal of Applied Physiology found that the siesta habit is associated with a 37 percent reduction in coronary mortality. This may be due to decreased blood pressure associated with the nap.

If it’s not a contradiction, and you decide to lie down for a 90 -minute snooze, a University of Berkeley study tells us this will keep you calm for the entire day. (Far be it from me to name names or make recommendations on that one here!)

When all is added up, the fact is that the mind loves a siesta. As well as the benefits we mentioned already, the noticeable difference I find is that it clears out the cobwebs from the brain. (Uncalled for Lads… uncalled for.) Willpower and concentration are the first to go when you get tired. (That is a line from my squash coaching days – but equally true in everyday life). An afternoon siesta can reverse the usual willpower drain, reduce stress, improve mood, and restore focus.

Coming back to our old basic hippy motto; ‘if it feels good, do it’, nothing feels better than my short siesta – especially on a hot day. July was the hottest month ever recorded on Earth and there will be more of that.

According to the song, only ‘mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun’. I suggest that the rest of us head off at midday and start counting winks – up to 40 of them!